Lousiana Monroe Preview

They lost a game.

I know , I know…The sky is falling and the heat death of the universe is inevitable and your family will be raptured away and you’ll be left here on planet earth with scary liberals who are more likely to search “hot teen” then “Olsteen”

but it was just one game.

Remember the reason you’re hear tide fan…You wanted to see Jacob Coker throw the deep ball, and for some reason here we are and Lane Kiffin and Nicholas Lou Saban refuse to let him do so.  That might be due to a conspiracy by the liberal media….but I think there are more sinister forces at play here, first let me remind everyone what the 10 Commandments of the deep ball are.

Defender of justice Roy Moore with his rock hard unit.
Defender of justice Roy Moore with his rock hard unit.

TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE DEEP BALL

I. The only thing that matters is how far you can sling it.

II. You need to stretch the defense wide open

III. Jacob Coker Throws the best deep ball

IV. Arm Strength trumps all else

V. Fades suck

VI. Slants suck

VII. Draws suck

VIII. Wins and losses are social constructs

IX. Dial up a deep ball after a turnover

X. Blake Sims can’t throw the deep ball

There it is, that last commandment is what I think we need to focus on heading into the matchup against lilweezyana backhoe.

BUT CDB HOW ARE WE GOING TO USE THE LAST COMMANDMENT BLAKE SIMS CAN’T PLAY HE’S 34 YEARS OLD AND ALL OUT OF ELLYGIBELITY?

Blake Sims, in his treachery and slants and quick easy screen passes have poisoned our dear Lane Kiffin into having Jacob throw the deep ball not as far as he can.

Lane Kiffin is a man, he is a man who likes to score…that is the problem here folks.  He’s putting his balls in a place where they shouldn’t be.  After having this “Success” on offense with Blake Sims Alabama and Lane Kiffin started to no longer throw the deep ball as far as possible, with JACOB COKER.

That’s like putting boxers on backwards so you can shit through the flap, folks.

Conclusion: Tide needs to let Jacob throw the deep ball. That is the only way to salvage the season.

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